The day I kicked the living shit out of Greg Henderson in a sprint (aka the time that Chaz guest rode for Health Net)

The first time was the second stage of the Tour of Jamaica '06. Henderson had won Philly and Reading the previous week, and apparently he thought he was riding well. And he was...but obviously I was riding better. Much better. So much better that he had no idea that I was about to absolutely kick the shit out of him at the Tour of Jamaica. Not even when he was strutting around in the ATL airport in his knee high compression socks with shorts and All-stars. At that time he probably still thought he was going to kick MY ass at the Tour of Jamaica. He would've been wrong if that's what he was thinking. Now nevermind the fact that he bridged 15 minutes solo across to a break in one of his two functional gears. Nevermind that fact that I punched him in the nuts just before the left hand turn with 150 meters to go. Nevermind the fact that the non-Jamaican riders in the break were told we had 35 more miles to race about 500 meters from that last left hand turn. And nevermind the fact that he might've had a mouth full of food, a water bottle in one hand, and his other hand digging around somewhere in his pockets. None of this matters...it's all sour grapes now. I came out of that turn 5th wheel, finished there, and he never came around me. Where I come from, that's referred to as a good old fashioned amateur ass-kicking. The next stage, while wearing the overall leaders jersey, he climbed off his bike on the one hard climb of the day, got in the car, and DNF'd. He said his knee hurt. You know what I say to that, Greg Henderson? Harden the fuck up. And this guy gets a ProTour contract? Now he's leading the Tour de Georgia? And winning field sprints? This can only mean two things. 1. I should be racing on a ProTour team. 2. I am clearly stronger than anyone that is racing in the TDG. This is all very clear to me now. Nice jersey, Hendy. You know I own that fucking thing.