Both hands on the wheel. 10 and 2. Especially in the rain.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Def Leprechaun nails down a "Hot Chicks with Douchebags" glamour shot

I don't know who she is, but I know it's not your wife and I'm pretty sure it's not your mom. I'm not even sure where to begin with this one, so I'm going to have to lean heavily on my 6 loyal readers (yes, it's grown like wildfire) to throw down a caption in the comments ala the one and only (and arguably my favorite website in existence)....HCWDB. Someone, please caption this thing. I'm the judge, and the winner gets a stale box of Clif Bars and a race t-shirt that likely won't fit. It's not often that I reach out for crowd participation, but fuck. I think I just short circuited somewhere between the Motorola clipped to the Olympic polo, the shades, the earpiece, and the tounge stuck out like you just hit that shit. All of which has been capured by (or simply offered to) the AJC. I should be in bed right now. But I'm not. And D, it's your fault. Sometimes I find shit, and sometimes it finds me. I didn't go looking for this one.

Full story here. Drink at The Grange. I will. Like that just put me back in good graces. Sorry D, you were holding the gun, and it was pointed in the wrong direction.

One for The Mainstay and Big Poppa

Friday, August 15, 2008

My top 5 favorite names of countries (that I've never heard of) that have won more medals than Ireland (0)

1. Azerbaijan (4 medals- 1 gold, 2 silver, 1 bronze)
2. Uzbekistan (2 medals- 1 silver, 1 bronze)
3. Kyrgyzstan (2 medals- 1 silver, 1 bronze)
4. Togo (1 medal- 1 bronze)
5. Tajikistan (1 medal- 1 bronze)

Def Leprechaun- even the country of Georgia (less than half the size of the state of Georgia) has managed to pull down three medals...while the homeland is getting militarily throttled by Russia, no less.

Glass house, you say? True, the Greeks aren't exactly lighting up Beijing. But here's the deal...we invented the fucking Olympics. Our work is done here.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

David Millar? Is that you?

Have you changed your name and nationality and turned to wrestling?

BEIJING, Aug 14 (Reuters) - Swedish wrestler Ara Abrahamian threw down his greco-roman bronze medal in protest on Thursday after his bid for Olympic gold was ended by a decision denounced by the Swedish coach as “politics.”

Abrahamian took the bronze from around his neck during the medal ceremony, stepped from the podium and dropped it in the middle of the wrestling mat then walked off.

“I don’t care about this medal. I wanted gold,” he said.

A bitter Abrahamian, silver medalist at Athens 2004 who had high hopes of top honors in the 84kg competition in Beijing, announced he was quitting the sport.

“This will be my last match. I wanted to take gold, so I consider this Olympics a failure,” he said.

Amateur's note: this Olympics is not a failure. You are. Harden the fuck up, you fucking pansy.

Please also note that he's quitting the sport, not retiring. He's an amateur. I suspect the professional ranks don't exist in the sport of greco-roman wrestling. Tough to believe, with that level of professionalism.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Pooperman back in the news

Newsflash: CBrown wins the Cleveland Crit and wears last year's kit on the podium...only to be scolded by the CEO of Litespeed (major sponsor of the team and CBrown's employer). Despite his astounding physical performance, this move sets Brown's amateurity in stone, guaranteeing him a spot on the Pacesetter Steel Service squad for '09 and beyond. His career at Litespeed, on the other hand, just might be in jeopardy. And nevermind the fact that he loaned his only current kit to TAdams for the race...which he took straight to the podium. Sorry Pooper, no good deed goes unpunished. Learn it, live it, love it. You can't leave it. Nice helmet, by the way. Careful...climbing up to that top step can be dangerous. Like I would know. Well, that's what the guy standing next to you told me anyway.

CBrown (aka Super Pooper aka Pooperman) goes 4 for 4

CBrown, Super Pooper, Pooperman- whatever you want to call him- he's on a hot streak. He's poopin' good. He's poopin' better than good. He's poopin' great....again. In fact, he must've shat himself twice last Saturday night. Two crits, two starts, two wins. The guy has won the last four races he's started. I think that's more than I've won in my entire life of bike racing. Please note that I say life, not career. Careers are for professionals.

CBrown lined up solo in the masters field at the Cleveland Crit for a little warm up. Won it. The he lined up with his new Pacesetter teammate TAdams for the Pro1/2 race. Won it. TAdams brought home 2nd after a two year hiatus from road racing. Pacesetter wins the masters and goes 1-2 in the Pro1/2...that's a first. And likely a last.

Sunday at Grant Park started much the same. Big Poppa and I lined up for the masters race to warm up for the Pro1/2 race. Won it. Big Poppa took the W, and the 300 bones that went along with it. The Amateur got a healthy little split for 45 minutes worth of riding around.

The follow-up was a little different. We made a mess of the Pro1/2 race, pretty much riding around in circles like the bunch of amateurs we are, while the pros did some racing. They pretty much rode circles around us. Actually, they quite literally rode circles around us. Three guys lapped. They're for real pros though. Hell, they can even retire from the sport someday. Me, I'll just quit. Amateurs quit. Retiring is for professionals.