Captain Skymall pulls one down!

Former teammate and fellow amateur Captain Skymall pulled down a W this weekend in the P1/2/3 afternoon race at Twilight...then in a desperate act to reconfirm his amateurity, he promptly got blown straight out the back of the Big Show on Saturday night. Congrats, my man... but if you had any sense at all, you would've began celebrating that victory immediately following your finish. You wasted nearly 8 hours of drinking time. Just when I think you're putting together all the pieces, you go and pull a stunt like this. It should also be noted that the Madman took one straight out of the books of the Mainstay and finished up second on the day. Congrats to you as well...but apparently you could've used a mid-race break like Skymall. At least he had the sense to let some air out of his tires half way through the race to take a little breather. Win or you're fired, Madman.

Losing isn't the end of the world. It's just the beginning of being a loser.

The day I kicked the living shit out of Greg Henderson in a sprint (aka the time that Chaz guest rode for Health Net)

The first time was the second stage of the Tour of Jamaica '06. Henderson had won Philly and Reading the previous week, and apparently he thought he was riding well. And he was...but obviously I was riding better. Much better. So much better that he had no idea that I was about to absolutely kick the shit out of him at the Tour of Jamaica. Not even when he was strutting around in the ATL airport in his knee high compression socks with shorts and All-stars. At that time he probably still thought he was going to kick MY ass at the Tour of Jamaica. He would've been wrong if that's what he was thinking. Now nevermind the fact that he bridged 15 minutes solo across to a break in one of his two functional gears. Nevermind that fact that I punched him in the nuts just before the left hand turn with 150 meters to go. Nevermind the fact that the non-Jamaican riders in the break were told we had 35 more miles to race about 500 meters from that last left hand turn. And nevermind the fact that he might've had a mouth full of food, a water bottle in one hand, and his other hand digging around somewhere in his pockets. None of this matters...it's all sour grapes now. I came out of that turn 5th wheel, finished there, and he never came around me. Where I come from, that's referred to as a good old fashioned amateur ass-kicking. The next stage, while wearing the overall leaders jersey, he climbed off his bike on the one hard climb of the day, got in the car, and DNF'd. He said his knee hurt. You know what I say to that, Greg Henderson? Harden the fuck up. And this guy gets a ProTour contract? Now he's leading the Tour de Georgia? And winning field sprints? This can only mean two things. 1. I should be racing on a ProTour team. 2. I am clearly stronger than anyone that is racing in the TDG. This is all very clear to me now. Nice jersey, Hendy. You know I own that fucking thing.

Mainstay holds true to form

The Mainstay is back to his old ways. A few of his critical stats for the weekend:

Placing at Farmer Rd. sprint at the T500: 2nd (bridesmaid, as usual)

Approximate number of beers consumed at the Candler Park 420 Fest: 420

Number of African American women he hit in the head with a frisbee: 1

Number of African American women that wanted to fight him: 1

Number of friends that would've had his back: 0

Number of times he was hit in the head with a frisbee: 1

Suggested sunblock SPF for the day: 60

Number of sunblock applications: 0

Degree of sunburn on his face and arms: 3rd

Approximate time of blackout: 8pm

Approximate time he quit drinking: 10pm

Approximate amount of gas in the tank when he left for home: 2.5 oz.

Approximate distance from home when his car ran out of gas: .5 mi.

Approximate calories burned while pushing car home: 420 cal.

Needless to say, things are looking really good going into Athens Twilight.

Mainstay's drinking at lunch again...

Boonen goes Amateur!

Quite possibly the most PRO rider in the peloton pulls quite possibly the most AMATEUR move known in the cycling world. Premature celebration. I wouldn't know anything about this since I never actually put myself in a position to win (much less to piss one away), but how tough is it to keep both hands on the bars till you actually get there? I'm thinking risk to reward here...

Imposter's jacket stolen. Reward offered for its safe return.

The Opinionated Cyclist is a criminal. Not only did he steal the thing, but he's wearing it on camera. This is the very jacket worn by the Imposter at the Gainesville road race. True, The Imposter's jacket appeared to be hot pink (or fuschia depending on gender/sexual orientation), but it is reversible with lime green on the flip side (as seen below). One month's free coaching offered by 2BeProCoaching for its safe return (an additional month's coaching thrown in if jacket is returned without cran-apple juice stains). Please folks...a little help here. They haven't made one of these things since 1984. This is clearly not an article of clothing that can be easily replaced.