They're gonna give daddy the Rainman suite...

Well, they did. Not because I'm a high roller. But because I'm an amateur. THE Amateur. Daddy's in the Rainman suite at The Palms right now. This place is bigger than my house. It's got two bathrooms. And unlike my house, it even has heat.

Vegas kills me. I'm getting slower by the second. It's late January....and my training this week consists of drinking like the Mainstay on New Years Eve. Or his 30th birthday for that matter. Kindof. I still don't have a vibrating cock ring.

I would go ahead and apply for my Cat 3 downgrade, but I'm seriously afraid of CLeask. He's 35 lbs light right now... and in the span of 4 days (and in 2 separate episodes), he's completely twisted a ti derailleur hanger and broken a chain...that tells me the boy's got a little something under the hood, and I think we're going to see it this year. Believe it.

A Champion is Born!

Congrats T!

Seven Rhys Grahovec is born at 1830 on 1/30/08! 8 pounds, 20 inches. Ten fingers and ten toes...gotta wonder if T is really the father. Mama Jen is doing well also.

Odds of the first word being an F-Bomb? Count on it.

For Immediate Release

Verbatim from the Mainstay-

"Secret Handjob ride schedule...a little double penetration this weekend...Tucker 500 on Saturday followed by the Airport Ride on Sunday..."

He said it, and he meant it. And the Mainstay knows a little something about double penetration. The guy recived a vibrating cock ring for his 30th birthday. Seriously.

Happy 30th, Mainstay.

Folks, show up this weekend, but keep your distance. It's for your own good.

Been down so long it looks like up to me.

I haven't ridden outside in almost two weeks. That's as good a way as any to maintain the amateur status and fitness that I've come to know and love. It should be noted, though, that I hit a new all time low on Monday. On Sunday all looked good- decent weather forecast, MLK holiday to be observed, and I figured I'd roll out for 5 or so hrs outside. Slight change of plans- the heat died in the house Sunday night, which led to mid 40 degree temps INSIDE on Monday morning. Which led to me waiting for the repair man to show up for the majority of the day. Which led to me kitting up in full winter gear to ride INSIDE. Rock bottom misery. Brickstore ensued. I feel better about myself only because the Mainstay started drinking at lunch (an early lunch) and he was at "work". And he hasn't stopped drinking since.

Secret Handjob Ride Announced!

The Mainstay's ever popular Super Secret Saturday ride has officially outgrown its name. Moving forward, it will be known as the Secret Handjob ride. Anyone who has been in the Atlanta cycling community for any amount of time is familiar with the Secret Handshake ride on Sunday mornings. This is similar, but different. For starters, it's on Saturday. It's like the WBL, except there are 99.9% less people in attendance. The Mainstay determines the route, start time, and invitation list. Applications for invitation will be accepted at wesparrish@gmail.com. Please include photo and brief resume.

T's Wife (Pro writer) one-ups The Mainstay

Not to be outdone by the Mainstay, T's wife puts pen to paper.

http://www.velonews.com/news/fea/13881.0.html

We know this is true because this letter actually makes sense. T has a better chance at becoming a Pro rider than a Pro writer.

Please note he's still an amateur in both disciplines.

The Mainstay- Pro writer (not to be confused with Pro rider)

Mainstay hits the big time with a heartfelt letter in support for none other than the all new (& all Pro for 2008) Team Type 1. He knows pros...plain and simple.

http://www.cyclingnews.com/letters.php?id=letters/2008/01-05letters

Mainstay's talents are limitless. Nevermind the fact that this thing was edited (written) by Phil (Pro rider/writer).

Open Invitation from the Mainstay

Ride with an amateur! Wes the Mainstay would like to formally invite anyone and everyone to join him on his Innagural Super Secret ride of 2008. 4 hours in the gaps.....10am Saturday morning at R-Ranch. Crooked helmets encouraged....Cotton tube socks and hairy legs a must! Special shout outs to anyone in attendance wearing some sort of rock band or super hero Primal Wear jersey design. Tell everyone you know. Mainstay hopes to see you there! Don't miss this opportunity!

30 Hour Week (or something)

It looked good on paper about 8 weeks ago. In fact, it looked fine until about 8 days ago. Thirty hours on paper turned into about 8 on the bike. I'm an amateur, and it's important that I stay that way.

Here are a few important stats from the last week or so:

Number of hours I planned on riding last week: 30
Number of hours I actually rode last week: 8
Number of liters of Beam the Mainstay drank solo on Tuesday for the Sugar Bowl: 1
Number of points the Dawgs put up on Hawaii in the Sugar Bowl: 41
Number of times I turned left when the group went straight and I t-boned D: 1
Number of times Chaz pointed out one hole & hit another & almost crashed me: 1
Number of cases of Belgian beer I received for Christmas: 4 (+ 1 Big Chouffe)
Number of Belgians TG claims he drank before dinner at Brickstore on Sunday: 6
Number of rides I did with TG last week: 1
Number of times I got beaten by TG in a downhill county-line sprint: 3
Number of teeth on my chainring when it happened: 53
Number of teeth on TG's chainring when it happened: 39
Number of times TG has won a real sprint: 0
Number of times I EVER will: 0

I'm not really sure what that means. I think it means I could lose a sprint in a solo break.